We are currently running a new training workshop for practitioners & therapists"> We are currently running a new training workshop for practitioners & therapists">
Men in Recovery
Supporting sexually abused men on their journey to wholeness
We are currently running a new training workshop for practitioners & therapists

Introduction


I truly believe that it is not necessary for men to lead low quality lives blighted by experiences that mostly happened decades ago. It is not eezy peezy to change but neither is living a low quality life. This charity exists because I KNOW it can be different. Starting that process of change is what we are about.

~ Stephen Linturn

Recovery is Possible

The estimates are that 1 in 6 men in the UK have been sexually abused. For some it will have a low impact on their lives, for others it will dictate everything that comes afterwards. The trauma of the abuse has many symptoms from isolation, low self esteem, addiction, violence to self or others, to relationship difficulties. ISOLATION is the most damaging. It cuts you off from the resources that could help change your present life experience for a better one. The truth is that it gets better when you come out of isolation and do something different.

Men in Recovery

Was formed as a vehicle to support men on their journey to wholeness. We run workshops for men with a history of abuse, offer seminars and trainings to inform and educate professionals around all aspects of male sexual abuse. We maintain a website with information and resources available to all men to use as part of their recovery.

What We Do

  • Raise awareness about male sexual abuse, especially the impact on men and their families; and the consequences for society as a whole.
  • Provide a resource for men to move into the recovery phase.
  • Offer workshops for men who have experienced sexual abuse.
  • Demonstrate the power of being with a peer group and men’s ability to support each other.

About us


The Charity

Men in recovery is a charity based in Scotland, registered in 2014. It was founded and inspired by Stephen Linturn and Jim Campbell who met in 2013. Both had the desire to create a platform to support men in the process of recovering from the trauma of sexual abuse. The services provided by the charity are mainly financed by funding.

Stephen's story behind 'Men in Recovery': I have worked as a counsellor in the Forres area for the last 12 years before meeting Jim Campbell in 2013. Both of us had the inspiration and mission to support men on their path of recovery from the trauma of sexual abuse.

Jim designed the first website and we started running workshops on a simple business model. However it turned out that the model was not sustainable. A lot of the men were looking to support didn't have the money to participate in those workshops. It became clear that a charity would be a better foundation to ensure that we would be able to offer the workshops. We found a team that supported the consolidation of the charity and its endeavours, allowing the Charity to be registered in November 2014 with three trustees: Brian McMullen (Chair and a major part of the team), Paddy Atkinson and Rodney Knights.

In April 2015 Jim left the Charity to develop his own ideas in Edinburgh. In October 2015 I ran the first weekend retreat in the Forres area. It was a great success on many levels, though financially it was challenging. It was now abundantly clear that we needed to look for funding to be able to run the workshops in the future and provide the services we envisioned. A lot of energy went into that process and we finally received money from the Lottery, Awards for All fund. In October 2016 Sally Middleton and Christine Hartmann joined our team as Business Support and Administrator.

Read more about the charity

About Stephen

Stephen Linturn brings a wide range of experiences to supporting men who have been sexually abused. He combines a sensitive, caring and grounding nature, with personal experiences of trauma, plus an honours degree from the University of Life. He has an established therapy practice in the North of Scotland where he has worked extensively with individuals and couples for over 10 years. Many of those clients had sexual abuse as part of their history and Stephen’s approach has proven to be successful in working with this client group.

Stephen’s skills and sensitivity are informed by his own childhood experiences of trauma and the ensuing recovery process that he went through. Plus the joys and woes of parenting, the demands of a long term relationship, living in different countries and being self employed as a carpenter, an officer in the Merchant Navy and other professions. He has co-facilitated a weekend retreat for men recovering from abuse with Mike Lew - therapist and co-author of Victims no Longer. One of the most significant parts of his journey to wholeness was being a part of a Men’s Group for 10 years. Stephen brings the experience of personal therapy and a host of related activities with him as valuable capacity for supporting other men on their paths.

What Stephen says about 'Men in Recovery'

"I chose to get involved in this work because I care about our society and am very concerned about where we are headed. Why get involved in male sexual abuse? It is a very neglected area in terms of awareness and support for the men. I am clear that the negative impact on the men, their families and society in general is enormous."

What is a Men's Group?

Basically it is a bunch of men who get together on a regular basis, with a set of agreements to keep it safe, and talk about their experiences. Sounds simple and in a way it is. However, for men in our society it is often a very scary idea to open up to other men about how they feel, think and be transparent about the areas where they feel inadequate or ashamed. Most men’s groups are created and run by the men themselves. A few are lead by a professional, typically a therapist or a counselor and some by men who have experience of being in a group and now want to support others to do something similar. Is it worth it?? For those who make the commitment to keep coming to the group and be with the difficulties, it most certainly is. My own positive experience has been echoed many times by other men.

Read more about Stephen

Interview with Stephen Linturn

Stephen Linturn, one of the co-founders, talks about Men in Recovery and why he wanted to set up the organisation. He also explains the introductory workshop and answers some of the questions people may have.

In this interview, co-founder Stephen, talks about Men in Recovery, why he wanted to set up the organisation, what to expect at an introductory workshop and provides answers to common questions that people ask. Please do get in touch with any comments or questions you may have.

Important

  • Sexual abuse typically leaves men with confusing feelings, isolated and can lead to issues around trust in relationships.
  • We understand what you are struggling with.
  • It takes a lot of courage to acknowledge what happened and move onto the road to recovery.
  • We are here to support you on your journey through the difficulties into self-empowerment.


We have gained publicity with our intentions and work, read more about us in the press clippings


Workshops


Next Events

Training Day for Practitioners

Stephen Linturn (Men in Recovery)
and Duncan Craig (Survivors Manchester)
20th January 2018, 9.30am-5pm
in Aberdeen, Robert Gordon University

Read more here...

"Excellent speaker, good mix of theoretical framework, experiential work and content. A difficult, sensitive subject handled in a down to earth, humorous way, without belittling the subject matter. I enjoyed Duncan's honesty as a speaker, the mix of humour, grittiness and seriousness. His own experiences brought a real authenticity to the day."
Dolina Grant, Person Centred Counsellor

"Duncan was absolutely inspirational, clear, succinct, intuitive. A lot of information packed into one day, excellent facilitation."
Andrew

Meetings for Men who have experienced
sexual abuse

Facilitated by Stephen Linturn
Saturdays, 21st October, 25th November
and 16th December 2017 in Elgin

Read more here...

What is a Workshop

The term "workshop" can mean different things, to different people… A place to fix cars or a room full of people learning skills to help them change or achieve something different in their lives. The term "workshop" can be off-putting for some people. Often they are seen as a place people go to be taught a skill by teachers who have expertise in a particular subject area. Men in Recovery workshops are very different to this. Although the facilitators have a wide range of experience in supporting and understanding men who have experienced sexual abuse, their workshops are about creating a space where everyone is invited to think about their experiences of being a man and in particular a man who has experienced sexual abuse. In our workshops men share only what feels OK for them.

Stephen always has a guest facilitator working alongside him, providing structure to the day and the activities. Their primary role is to provide a safe and supportive environment for the individual and collective process to unfold.

Who is it for

Our weekends are for men who have experienced or believe to have experienced sexual abuse, as children or adults. They are NOT for men who are abusing or have a history of abusing others. These men need a different kind of support that we do not provide. The fear of sitting in a group of men is normally very high at the beginning and reduces quickly once the weekend begins. We are aware of that and are making efforts to lower the fear barometer. We put a lot of effort into creating a sense of safety in the group.

We currently run three different types of workshops

  • Introductory Weekend Workshop
  • Themed Weekend Retreats
  • Meetings for Men

Additionally for Therapists

We offer short Training Workshops as part of their continued professional development. For more information about our next event read more here.

Related Pages

Help


It is not easy to acknowledge sexual abuse – you may be in doubt about what happened to you. Asking questions and realising you are not alone is the first step to make a connection. You will find that working in a supportive group is a really valuable part of the recovery process.

Please read our FAQ where you can find helpful answers to some of your questions.

Also reading about other men's experiences, case studies, stories and hand's on information about recovery can be inspirational and just what you need to see light at the end of the tunnel. Have a look at our extensive list of books, films and research results here.

I Need Help Now

Men suffer silently, especially as victims of sexual abuse and rape. Society and education have their share in influencing men to behave in a certain way, to suppress and not express emotions, to ‘swallow’ their true feeling and keep a 'stiff upper lip'.

We want to be on your side when you are going through tough emotions and want to let you know that there are ways of getting support; online and in person.

Crisis Support

Feeling upset, angry, in pain? It may seem that these feelings will never end. Even if it is hard to believe, remember those feelings cannot and will not last. They will pass, like all feelings do. So, stay with us and read on:

Getting safe right now

  • It’s about the next 5 minutes. Taking things minute by minute can help make things more bearable. The lifeline for attempt survivors website has 100 tips for getting through the next 5 minutes. Each 5 minutes that pass are a success.
  • Remove anything you could use to harm yourself or ask someone else to remove these for you. If you're in an unsafe location, move away.
  • If you have a safety plan or crisis plan, follow it.

If you feel you cannot keep yourself safe right now, here you can find immediate help

  • Go to any hospital. A&E department (also known as the emergency department)
  • Call 999 and ask for an ambulance if you can't get to A&E.
  • Ask someone else to contact 999 for you or take you to A&E immediately.

If you need some support right now, but don't want to go to A&E, here are some other options

  • If you have a Therapist, contact your Therapist.
  • Contact the Samaritans on free phone 116 123, they are open 24 hours, 7 days a week, and are there to listen. Calls can be made anytime from any phone and all calls are confidential.
  • The Breathing Space helpline is open 24h at weekends (Fri 6pm – Mon 6am). All calls are confidential – 0800 83 85 87.
  • If you cannot wait for your GP’s surgery to open, call NHS 24 - 111.
  • Contact your GP for an emergency appointment or the out of hours team.
  • You can also call the police, your emergency social work team or emergency mental health team.
  • Tell someone how you are feeling. It can be a friend, family member or even a pet. Telling someone else how you are feeling can help you to feel less alone and more in control.
  • Distract yourself: if you're thinking of harming yourself, there are some self-harm coping techniques. See if they work for you:
    • Holding an ice cube in your hand until it melts and focus on how cold it feels.
    • Tearing something up into hundreds of pieces.
    • Take a very cold shower or bath.
    • Here are more tips for coping with self-harm.
  • Your senses can help you. Take time to think about what you can smell, taste, touch, hear and see – it helps to ground your thoughts.
  • Take long deep breaths; breathing out for longer than you breathe in can help you to feel calmer.
  • Avoid taking drugs or drinking alcohol. This can make you feel worse. If you can: get a glass of water, eat something if you're hungry, sit somewhere comfortable - write down how you're feeling.
  • Get outside. You may feel numb, see if you can feel the rain, sun or wind against your skin. It can help you to feel more connected to your body.
  • Reach out. If you can't talk to someone you know, contact a telephone support service or use online peer support such as https://www.elefriends.org.uk/Elefriends.
  • Be kind to yourself. Talk to yourself as if you were talking to a good friend. Try to think of something that gives you comfort, that soothes you. It could be having a bath, wrapping yourself in a blanket and watching your favourite film.
  • Tell yourself you can get through this. Sometimes we are so focussed on the negatives we tell ourselves and lose hope. Repeating to yourself that you can get past these feelings can help you regain hope and focus on getting through it.

Read more..!

Email Support

Did you ever think of writing about your feelings? Writing down how you feel - this can be a huge step on your journey. Another step is to show it to someone else. It may be difficult to know whom you can trust, to whom you can turn to. You may be afraid of being judged if you tell someone what happened to you or how you are really feeling. We have a contact page where you can write to us. We promise that we read everything you write and aim to get back to you in 2 working days, if you wish so. There will be no judgment and you are in charge of whether you want to get a response or not.

WEBSITES IN UK

Survivors UK
The National Male Survivor website, managed by Survivors UK.
Survivors Manchester
UK based organization, providing online and personal support and projects, groups etc.
Mankind
Brighton based organization, proving support with an online presence.
Lantern Project
Merseyside based organization, supporting survivors of abuse.

WEBSITES IN USA

1 in 6
An innovative US based site, supporting male survivors of sexual abuse.
Male Survivor
International survivor organization, providing message board support for men.
Pandoras Project
International survivor web-based organization, providing support to men and women.

WEBSITES IN CANADA

1in6 Canada
Canadian organization, supporting male survivors of sexual abuse.

WEBSITES IN AUSTRALIA

Living Well
Well researched Australian website for male survivors.

Contact Us